


“You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”

by yikesola



Series: tumblr ficlet prompts [26]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2013, Established Relationship, M/M, mild gender role angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 04:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: Phil’s feeling a bit sad, and also a bit drunk, and maybe the two are mixing together somewhere behind his eyelids because he thinks if he’s not careful he might start crying.A ficlet about tears and manliness.





	“You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue Prompt: “You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”

Phil’s feeling a bit sad, and also a bit drunk, and maybe the two are mixing together somewhere behind his eyelids because he thinks if he’s not careful he might start crying. He isn’t all that sure why, only that he hasn’t let himself cry in quite some time, so maybe all the tears have built up and now they’re ready to leak from any available outlet in his face. 

Dan’s drunk too. But he’s a happier sort of drunk tonight. And a handsier sort of drunk, as well. 

He’s talking, Phil can see his mouth moving, but his voice is at that decibel tonight that just gets lost in the shuffle. The pub they’ve dragged themselves out to for the sake of a drink with Bryony and Wirrow is too loud. He wonders what would happen if he did start to cry, right here in their dark booth. If he caught the tears in his near-empty glass of whisky sour would anyone mind? 

Bry yawns; it’s her second yawn in less than five minutes. That’s as good a sign as any that they’re about to leave. 

Phil’s thankful. He doesn’t like that getting drunk is unlocking all these anxieties he is usually able to push aside. Nothing that matters, really. Nothing like his job or his family. Just anxieties about stupid things he would know are stupid if his brain wasn’t soaked in booze that keeps all the stupid things at the forefront and therefore gives them perceived legitimacy. 

It’s hot outside. Makes sense; it’s summertime. But Phil adds it to the list of things upsetting him. At least it’s quieter. At least he can hear Dan when he leans over in the uber on the way home and says, “You good?” 

Phil nods. Then he shrugs. 

Dan presses his knee into Phil’s leg, the most they can comfortably get away with in this moment of being semi-public. He pulls his phone out, opens the notes app, and hands it over to Phil. 

He tries to think of what it is that’s bothering him. Because he hasn’t really pinpointed it yet. He’s just been sitting with the discomfort. At last he thinks of the video he filmed with his mum a few days ago, the one where she giggled over a story of little Phil trying on all the girl bonnets in the shop. His stomach twists because that story was embarrassing, but it twists even more because of the booze and because he _knows_ it shouldn’t actually embarrass him. What did little Phil care about gender? What does he care even today? 

_am i manly?_ he types out and hands the phone to Dan. 

_the manliest. you only care about football, beer, and raking leaves :]_ Dan types back. 

That makes Phil laugh, which was Dan’s goal of course. It’s a spurting, half-drunk laugh. It feels good. 

Dan types again. _liking cock is pretty manly. what we’re gonna get up to once we’re back home is twice as manly as if you’d picked up a girl at the bar_

Phil laughs again when he reads that. Because it’s stupid but it also makes a stupid sort of sense. Him worrying about being manly is stupid because it doesn’t really matter either way, but also because he is a man and he’s in love with a man, and if he wants to cry because he’s gotten a little drunk he should just do it. 

And he does, though he waits until they’re back home. He’s not sure why he’s crying really other than that feeling he had earlier that he’d let the tears build up too long. And Dan wipes them away afterwards, and they get up to what he’d teased about earlier. When he wakes up in the morning, he is both less drunk and less sad.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/187316201364/you-only-care-about-football-beer-and-raking) !

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] "You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves."](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989528) by [yikesola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola)


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